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let's get physical!
2003-10-02, 10:30 a.m.

i hate telling people that i'm on a diet, because i feel it will curse it (much like the red sox and why i don't watch their games... i watched, they were losing. i turned it off, they were winning. i turned it back on when they were winning in the bottom of the ninth, and they lost in the twelfth inning). so, i'm not on a diet. i'm on an "improve my life" kick, which involves becoming fit and skinnier (along with being less shy, doing better in class, and hopefully becoming happier). i really can't say i'm on a diet, anyway, as i eat the same thing i always ate (either a salad, an eggplant sandwich, or a veggie wrap... repeat over and over until you want to hurl, but that's all my school offers for vegetarians). but i go to the gym every day and work out for about an hour, and tuesdays and wednesdays i also go to kickboxing class (an hour) and ab class (a brutal half hour). and i just have to say... it's working.

this might not be exciting to anyone else (maybe megan) but for the first time since i can remember (i wasn't too worried about it when i was little) i can actually see that bone going from my shoulder to my neck (you know which one i'm talking about, right? the one that completely sticks out on skinny people and i've always been jealous of?) while i'm just standing in a normal stance. that is amazing to me. i doubt i'll ever be a size two (nor do i want to -- i'd gladly settle for six or even eight) but for once, i don't completely hate my body when i look at it in the mirror. i don't completely love it, yet, but i'm getting there.

and this weekend i'm going home (have i mentioned how excited i am about that yet?) and i get to weigh myself! even if it's the stupid scale that's wrong (it seriously adds ten pounds, we've tested it), i'm still curious as to what it will say (minus ten).

but boy, do my abs hurt. does anyone else ever do ab workouts? jesus, they kill. haha. there's no class today, but i'm still going to do them (not extensively, but maybe ten/fifteen minutes), because apparently i like torturing myself. but hey... it's all in the name of health. maybe next summer i'll get to wear a bikini. oh man, isn't that a scary thought. :o)

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