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the only thing that doesn't change is change itself
2003-08-01, 11:19 a.m.

i think my plan to be the "new me!" is working. see, i don't want to be the "shy one" anymore; the quiet one who only talks to her friends and is afraid of saying anything to anyone else. my friends are the ones i immediately click with; we share a look that says "i know you're just like me" and all of a sudden, we're friends. i don't really put any effort into making someone my friend. mind you, i put effort into sustaining the friendship, just... not into making the friendship.

but i've been trying to change that this summer. i know i haven't really met a lot of new people, but i've been (more) outgoing with the people i have met. him, for one. although he'll probably never find out i have a crush on him (or until i'm gone and meghan tells him), i've been a whole lot more friendly and outgoing i would normally be to a crush. example: i do not run away from him. i even (gasp!) talk to him. this is a huge improvement from my sam (or barry) days.

so i'm happy with myself this summer. i may not have lost the weight i wanted to, but i did lose some. but even better than that, i've changed myself (or started to) into who i want to be. if people don't accept me now, well... that's their problem. i'm perfectly happy with who i am. i know that it will continue, nobody is ever the same, but hopefully i will have the wisdom to change into what is best.

and now time to go get my check and put a hole through my eyebrow... :o)

by the way, anyone who knows where the description (the only thing that doesn't change is change itself) is from gets a cookie. :o)

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