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i haven't slept since i met you
2003-08-17, 5:36 a.m.

i've been trying to sleep for two hours. i took my usual pill, which resulted in light dozing for maybe a half hour. so my pill (i'm only allowed to take one a night) was wasted. now, even if i do get to sleep, it won't be enough. i'm better off just staying up.

i have this bizzare bruise on my right hand. it starts at the knuckle of my middle finger, and goes all the way down to my wrist (on the top of my hand, not the palm). i have no idea what it's from, as i couldn't get a bruise like that if i tried. it's probably just a result of my anemia again. although, last night it was even hurting to type, but it seems to have improved. but it still hurts to touch it.

anemia sucks. and i hate when people yell at me because i don't donate blood. i don't have enough of it for myself, thanks.

friday i spent with my mum and crazy aunt. my aunt bought a new car (black toyota camry) and she had to go do a skillion errands, but she hates driving (go figure). so instead, my mum drove the car, and we traversed around taunton and attleboro. while driving around attleboro, i saw so many people i graduated with, which was kind of random. it seemed at every intersection i was like, "hey, there's ___!" anyway, then we went to chelo's in east providence (route six, practically seekonk) for supper. in the parking lot, we saw adam and his parents, so we stopped and talked to them for a while (adam lives in florida now, and barely ever comes home, so i've now seen him twice this summer), and then sandy (from target) pulled in with her family and i talked to them. that's not really important, but the adam bit is.

anyway, then we went and ate (we sat at the bar because we didn't feel like waiting... and the bar has this really cool music trivia game!) and adam came up in the conversation. my aunt wouldn't believe that he was gay (okay, i know *i* missed it when i was in eighth grade and madly in love with him, but... she's not as blind as i was!), and then she was like, "well, his parents seem to be accepting of it." which led to her saying that if any of my mum's children (including me) turned out to be gay, my aunt and my mum would be the only ones to accept it (which is, sadly, true... my family's insanely catholic except for us). my uncle chris and aunt debbie wouldn't stop loving us or talking to us, but they would try to change us. my aunt diane would just stop talking to us (and i think my aunt phyllis too, but she kind of already stopped talking to us because we talk to aunt helen [crazy aunt]... drama drama drama). which is really, really sad, especially considering my brother (i guessed, by this conversation, that my brother hasn't told my mum about his bisexuality... in fact, i think i'm the only family he's told, and so elegantly one night last semestre: "you know i like boys, right?" out of nowhere...). but at least she was right, my aunt and my mum would be completely accepting no matter what. and that's why i love them most out of my family.

while we're on the subject of my family, i just want to rant about my sister for a while. i know she's going through a tough time with eric (although, i believe the worst has passed for now, thank god), but still... it's stuff that's been bugging me all summer. whoever comes in last at night (usually it's me, except on weekends when she goes out and gets drunk) is supposed to lock the door, turn off the outside light, and turn off the kitchen light. she completely doesn't do this (even on those odd nights where i'm actually sleeping before she comes home, and thus nobody's awake to make sure the door gets locked, etc.). not only that, but she also goes into the bathroom and washes her face and stuff, which is fine, but she gets water ALL OVER the counter, and doesn't clean it up! you probably don't know my bathroom, but we usually have no less than three towels on the counter at a time. is it so hard to take one of those and just wipe it over the counter once? she also lets the toothpaste drip from the container and get all over the counter, which is just gross.

i know i'm obsessive-compulsive and thus, very picky about such things, but... come on, now, that stuff is just common decency. or am i really just being too picky?

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